Seth Meyers Rewrites Trump's Tweets With "Legally Vetted" Posts
A rewritten tweet began with "Haters and losers (stipulating that such terms are subjective, pursuant to relevant codes and libel laws)."
Seth Meyers had fun imagining what Donald Trump's legally vetted tweets would sound like on Monday's Late Night.
Trump lashed out at fired former FBI Director James Comey's testimony last week by accusing him of perjury, but Meyers said that if anybody should be worried about legal jeopardy, it's Trump
"Trump’s lawyers have become so concerned about the possibility that his tweets could hurt him in court that one option considered in the White House involved having a group of lawyers review and vet President Trump’s tweets in advance,” said Meyers.
"Can you imagine what Trump's legally vetted tweets would sound like?" he asked. He read an imagined tweet fluctuating between a Trump impersonation and his regular voice, which spouted out legal caveats.
“Haters and losers (stipulating that such terms are subjective, pursuant to relevant codes and libel laws) refuse to admit that Mexico (as well as its subsidiaries, LLCs and other related or independent entities) will pay (‘pay’ not being limited to actual disbursement of monetary funds) for the wall," said Meyers as Trump. "(Reader acknowledges that ‘wall’ may be defined to include fencing, rivers, existing natural boundaries, scarecrows, ‘do not enter’ signs, dirt, hedges and/or unseen physical barriers that may or may not appear visible to the naked eye.)"
Like Stephen Colbert, Meyers also mocked Trump for his compliment-filled Cabinet meeting and his comments about what he did or didn't say to Comey. “Even Kim Jong-Un is like, dude, have some self-respect," said Meyers about Trump's first full Cabinet meeting, where people went around the room praising him.
As for Trump saying he never suggested to Comey that he let the Flynn investigation go and adding that even if he had that would be OK, Meyers retorted, "He’s like a husband who denies cheating on his wife but also wants credit for getting laid."