Stephen Colbert Objects to Blake Shelton Being Named "Sexiest Man Alive"
The 'Late Show' host ridiculed the magazine for selecting the country singer for the coveted title, dubbing Shelton as the "Sexiest Man at Home Depot."
People magazine recently crowned country musician and The Voice judge Blake Shelton as this year's "Sexiest Man Alive," but Stephen Colbert isn't impressed.
"What? Did I miss something? Is Matthew McConaughey dead?" Colbert joked of the new cover reveal.
"I don't understand this. No offense to Blake. He's a solid seven. Nothing to be ashamed of there," the Late Show host continued during his Wednesday night show. "The 'Sexiest Man Alive'? More like the 'Sexiest Man at Home Depot.' And that's if it's not a Saturday."
Explaining that "sexy men have such a deep bench," Colbert didn't find it necessary for the magazine to go "straight to the guy from The Voice who's not Adam Levine."
To further argue with People's decison, Colbert mentioned alternatives who could have been more worthy of the title, including Idris Elba and Liam Neeson.
"Hell, if you're three appletinis in and he promises not to talk about Ayn Rand, we've even got Paul Ryan for Pete's sake!" Colbert said, only to add, "Listen, you've never been alone with him."
Colbert then said, "It might seem like there are no standards anymore, but sexy is still sexy, damn it. Now listen, Blake, I like you. Actually, I don't know anything about you. You're a judge on that singing show — not the first one, the other one. But I'm taking a stand, a line in the sand right now."
"I do not recognize Blake Shelton as our crowned sexiness king," Colbert announced. "He may have won the sexiness electoral college but not the sexy popular vote. So as far as I'm concerned, we now live in a leaderless sexy republic. It's complete sexy-anarchy, which actually sounds pretty hot."
Aware he'll upset people with his opinion, Colbert explained that there is "no greater honor" than to be crowned "Sexiest Man Alive," except maybe for GQ's 'Man of the Year,'" and pulled out his recent cover.
After People revealed Shelton's new title, the country singer felt compelled to enjoy the honor. "I've been ugly my whole life. If I can be sexy for a year, I'm taking it," Shelton told the magazine. The singer also joked that he won't be "humble about it" either.
Shelton said: "I'm not going to treat this like Hugh Jackman or one of those guys who's humble about it. People are going to hate me over this. Because it's going to be used in every conversation, whether it's at The Voice or at the feed store in Tishomingo, Oklahoma, or in a conversation with a doctor. Until I have to hand the title, which is what it is to me, over to someone else, this is mine. This is like a certification."