Stephen Colbert Returns as Tuck Buckford to Investigate CIA, Amazon Conspiracy
“When it comes to conspiracy talk show hosts arguing with consumer technology, there is no one more qualified than our old friend.”
After InfoWars radio host Alex Jones argued that the CIA is using Amazon’s Alexa to spy on homeowners, Stephen Colbert enlisted help for his own investigation on Thursday night’s Late Show.
“Wow, what a battle of wits,” Colbert joked of Jones persistently asking questions to Amazon’s Alexa device during his show. Finding the argument to be an example of “artificial intelligence versus natural stupidity," Colbert decided to offer a more “qualified” candidate to assess Jones’s conspiracy theory. Once again poking fun at the radio host, Colbert returned in character as Tuck Buckford.
“Today’s show is brought to you by the letter, I am on to you!” Colbert as Buckford yelled. To begin his investigation, Colbert began asking a Google Home what listening devices the CIA held inside its “little package.”
“Your package of tender bottoms rash wipes will be delivered on Sunday,” the Google Home answered, only for Colbert's Buckford to joke that the response was evidence of a CIA manipulation. “I knew it! You’re already making up lies about me and my bottom. I have got the bottom of a man. My ass can take any amount of punishment!”
Colbert's Buckford proceeded to jokingly add that his bottom could be wiped with “400 Grade sandpaper,” because he’s a “hard, red diamond, hard meat” with an anus that is an “impenetrable fortress.” In character, Colbert's Buckford continued his argument, emphasizing that home devices could not be trusted.
“I am even starting to doubt my personal digital assistant,” Colbert’s Buckford said, as he displayed a Big Mouth Billy Bass device. Colbert then yelled at the fish to reveal who “controls” him, threatening that he “ate Tickle Me Elmo.” “And I will do the same thing for you with a butter sauce,” Colbert said.
The fish began singing after Colbert pressed the button, something the late-night host admitted he found suspicious. “He’s speaking in tongues,” Colbert said, then began to eat fish food, explaining that it’s the “only protein not laced with mind-control estrogen.”