Torpedoes of Truth

Ryan Turgeon/Splash News

Charlie Sheen's five best quotes from Week 1 of the tour.

"I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories. Show of hands -- who here has tried crack?"

"I was wrong. Jon's not a troll. Jon's a ... rock star."
— Apologizing to Two and Half Men co-star Jon Cryer

"Because I had millions to blow. I ran out of things to buy."
— When asked in Chicago why he paid for sex

"I am a veteran of a disturbing odysey that had me question the very nature of my soul. I am speaking of course, about last night in Detroit."

"I already got your money, dude!"
— Reponse to a Detroit heckler