Trevor Noah Breaks Down Presidential Race on 'The Daily Show': "Maybe You Shouldn’t Have an Election"
“Because right now,” said the host, “America looks like it’s getting into a marriage it’s going to regret, and everyone can see it’s a bad idea!”
Trevor Noah came to the conclusion on Wednesday night that maybe America just isn’t ready for a presidential election, much like Rio is rumored to be not quite ready for this summer's Olympics.
"Rio, there comes a time when you have to take a step back, see the disaster that is unfolding around you, consider the consequences of this event ending as badly as it looks like it’s going to,” said Noah on Wednesday’s Daily Show, “and admit, that despite your best intentions, everything has gone horribly wrong … which brings me to the 2016 presidential race."
Speaking about the FBI’s decision that there would be no criminal charges brought against Hillary Clinton after the email scandal, Noah scolded the Democratic candidate, saying “your lies have besmirched the Clinton name … ” before he caught himself: “You know what, that’s not the point.”
Noah added that her campaign had previously been based on the idea that she was the reliable, disciplined candidate, “the Volkswagen of candidates,” but now it turns out “there’s a whole lot of s—t she’s been hiding from us!”
Noah then switched focus to Trump, playing back the speech in which Trump said, “Saddam Hussein was a bad guy … but you know what he did well? He killed terrorists. He did that so good.”
Noah was almost speechless after watching. “Is this, like, a prank?” he said. “What the f—, dude?” Noah asked Trump. “This was your time to bury Hillary. This is not the time to praise Saddam Hussein!”
“Yes, Saddam hussein killed terrorists,” Noah said. “You know who else he killed? Everyone!”
Noah also said that it worried him that a presidential candidate “talks about war crimes like he’s on an episode of Drunk History.”
The choices this election, in his eyes, come down to “Grandma Nixon, or a traffic cone soaked in raw sewage. A real Sophie’s Choice … ”
In the end, Noah was candid about his advice to the American public: “I’m going to be honest and say this: Maybe you shouldn’t have an election.”
“Because right now,” he continued, “America looks like it’s getting into a marriage it’s going to regret, and everyone can see it’s a bad idea!”
"But I’m gonna be that asshole friend that tells it like it is — maybe you need to call it off,” Noah said, “because two years from now you’re going to see your ex walking down the street and you’re going to think to yourself, 'Man, I didn’t know how good I had it.'"