White House Correspondents' Dinner: Michelle Wolf's 10 Biggest Targets

Screengrab/C-Span
Michelle Wolf

The comedian, who emceed the "nerd prom" Saturday night, didn't shy away from taking jabs at the assembled members of the media.

Tension brewed Saturday night at the Washington Hilton as The Daily Show's Michelle Wolf took some jabs at President Donald Trump and company while serving as the emcee of this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. 

Speaking in front of guests including White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Kathy Griffin and Omarosa Manigault, the comedian didn't shy away from taking aim at the president and the members of the media who cover him. Though Trump elected not to attend, there were plenty of other targets on Wolf's radar, including Sanders, Kellyanne Conway, Megyn Kelly, Ivanka Trump and Sean Hannity. 

1. Trump

Wolf started her tirade against Trump by taking a jab at his infamous Access Hollywood tape. “Trump isn’t here, if you haven’t noticed, and I know I would’ve dragged him here myself, but it turns out the President of the United States is the only pussy you’re not allowed to grab.”

Wolf also mocked the president's proposal to arm teachers as a solution for minimizing the likelihood of school shootings: "He wants to give teachers guns and I support that, because they can sell them for things they need, like supplies. That's a lot of protractors."

Wolf then began a game dubbed "Trump is so broke..." where she elaborated on the president's financial instability to get under his skin: "He has to fly failed-business class"; "He looked for foreign oil in Don Jr.’s hair"; "Southwest used him as one of their engines"; and "He grabs pussies, because he thinks there might some loose change for him."

 2. Mike Pence 

"Mike Pence thinks abortion is murder. Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it ... I know a lot of you are anti-abortion, but about getting one for your secret mistress."

"Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn’t gay." 

3. Kellyanne Conway

Wolf told journalists to stop putting Conway on their shows because she always "lies": "It's like that old saying, 'If a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne under that tree?' I’m not suggesting she get hurt, just stuck."

4. Starbucks 

After the coffee chain stirred controversy for kicking out an African-American customer without specified reasoning, Wolf took a moment to reiterate the apparent comparison to cabinet members: "You guys are going through cabinet members quicker than Starbucks is throwing out black people. No, it's okay. They're having an afternoon. That'll solve it." 

5. Sarah Huckabee Sanders 

"I’m a little starstruck — I love you as Aunt Lydia on The Handmaid’s Tale. Mike Pence, if you haven’t see it, you would love it."

"I’m never sure what to call her. Is it Sarah Sanders ... Cousin Huckabee? What’s Uncle Tom, but for white women that disappoint other people?"

6. Megyn Kelly

"What would I do without Megyn Kelly? Probably be more proud of women." 

7. Ivanka Trump 

"Ivanka is like an empty box of tampons — she’s done nothing for women. So, I guess, like father, like daughter. She does clean up nice, though. She’s the Diaper Genie of the administration. On the outside she looks sleek and on the inside, she’s still full of shit."

8. Bear Stearns 

When talking about the #MeToo movement, Wolf said that she hadn't been harassed: "I did work at Bear Stearns in 2008, so while I haven't been harassed, I have been fucked. That whole company went down on me."

9. Sean Hannity 

"People wanted me to make fun of Sean Hannity tonight, but I could not do that. This dinner's for journalists!"

10. Media 

"You guys are obsessed with Trump. Did you used to date him? You act like you hate him, but I think you really love him."

"You helped create this monster, and now you’re profiting off of him."

Wolf hosted the annual event after The Daily Show's Hasan Minhaj emceed in 2017. The comedian is the fifth woman to host the dinner, following Cecily Strong, Wanda Sykes, Elayne Boosler and Paula Poundstone. Wolf is also set to host her own weekly late-night show on Netflix, which is slated to bow May 27.