The 64th Annual Golden Globe Awards
Empty8-11:05 p.m., Monday, Jan. 15
What a production! The stars! The gowns! The glamour! The excitement! Honestly, it's hard to imagine a Golden Globes telecast -- no, make that any awards ceremony -- that could have been more perfect, more scintillating, than Monday night's telecast.
Well, I suppose there could have been just a tiny, tiny thing that might have made the show better, but I hate to bring it up. It's just so minor. But, maybe, if they could just have nominated Helen Mirren for a few more awards. If she had just written an original song or directed something. It's such a pleasure to watch someone so classy give acceptance speeches.
But that's it. Everything else couldn't have been better. Oh, I suppose there might have been a few more shots of Jack Nicholson because he's always smiling.
That's really trifling, though. Especially when you consider how perfect everything else was.
Like the set decoration. Gorgeous. I suppose a few, picky people might have wondered about those bright moving blurs behind the people onstage, the ones that looked like solar flares. Not me. I used to have a lava lamp, and I enjoy that sort of thing.
I also tip my hat to the executive producers, Allen Shapiro and Barry Adelman. It isn't easy to plan a live event so that it comes in exactly on time, give or take five minutes.
I suppose some viewers might have liked to see more time given to the really big awards at the end of the show. But then there's that old showbiz adage that says it's best to leave them wanting more. And that's exactly what the Golden Globes did.
And, hey, so what if it did run a little long? I wouldn't have cut a thing. Especially not those backstage moments early in the show, like the one in which Maria Menounos almost allowed a confused America Ferrera to slip away from an interview.
"What do you say to all those people out there who did not want you to play Ugly Betty?" Menounos said. Replied Ferrera: "Um, I don't know. I don't know who they are." Priceless. Just priceless.
No, I wouldn't have cut that. Nor would I have tampered with Tom Hanks' tribute to Warren Beatty, either. I'll leave it to TV historians as to whether it set a record for the number of times an individual was praised for having balls. I'm sure though, if you combine it with all the anatomical references made by Sacha Baron Cohen, there has never been as much attention given to gonads in a single awards telecast.
I'll tell you what else I liked. The lists. The ones that practically every award recipient brought to the stage.
It just proves there's more honesty in Hollywood today. No one even bothers to disguise the fact that they intend to thank more people than you need to get a proposition on the ballot. Family. Friends. Agents. Publicists. Lawyers. Studio and network executives. Jennifer Hudson even thanked God, though she was careful to list the Almighty in third place, right after the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn. and her director.
Anyway, this is really about seeing the stars and they were stunning. They primped and shopped for hours and hours to get just the right look, only to be told by "Betty's" Ferrera that the message behind her award-winning show is that "beauty lies deeper than what we see." Some other night, maybe.
None of this takes away from the overall magnificence of the telecast. You just couldn't make it much better. OK, maybe if there had been just a few more shots of Beyonce ...
THE 64th ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS
Dick Clark Prods. and the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn.
Executive producers: Allen Shapiro, Barry Adelman
Writer-producers: Ken Shapiro, Al Schwartz
Writer: Barry Adelman
Consulting producer: Ron Weed
Executive in charge of production: Bob Bardo
Director: Chris Donovan
Production designer: Brian Stonestreet
Lighting designer: Robert Dickinson
Executive in charge of talent: Melissa Watkins Trueblood
Music director: Lenny Stack
Art directors: Alana Billingsley, Scott Welborn