'DASH Dolls': TV Review

Dash Dolls- H 2015
Courtesy of E!/NBCUniversal/Tommy Garcia
You've seen everything here before.

The Kardashian sisters continue to expand their television empire with the latest E! show featuring the employees of their clothing store.

Will E! ever stop making shows about all things Kardashian?

The latest iteration, DASH Dolls, features the employees of DASH, the Los Angeles clothing boutique owned by Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian. What's next? TV shows about the Kardashians' hairdressers, makeup artists, nannies and housekeepers? What about their landscapers and dry cleaners? The possibilities, unfortunately, are endless.

The young and gorgeous DASH employees (you don't get the feeling they were hired solely for their sales acumen) are managed by Khloe's two best friends, twin sisters Malika Haqq and Khadijah Haqq McCray. "They really put a fire under our DASH dolls' asses," Khloe says. Many of the employees live together in the "doll house."

"Being a 'DASH doll' also opens up a lot of other opportunities," Kim says.

The premiere focuses on Haqq and McCray reviving their acting careers, which were put on hold when McCray got married and had three children. As the first step, Haqq wants them to do a nude photo shoot with celebrity photographer Chris Fortuna. McCray isn't so sure. "I don't want to feel like I owe someone my comfort," she says. Haqq doesn't seem to fully understand how much her sister's life has changed now that she has three children. "In our career, we're going to have to make sacrifices," she tells her sister.

Durrani Aisha Popal is the merchandising manager for the store and the daughter of strict Muslim parents. Popal loves all things couture."I've been obsessed with fashion since I popped out of my mom's vagina," she not-so-demurely tells viewers. Popal's parents aren't okay with her dating, so, of course, the first episode is spent following Popal as she dates Shalom, a man she met at a Beverly Hills gas station. What better way to let your parents know that you are going against their wishes than a national television show?

To any fan of reality television, so much is familiar here. The series is a hybrid of Real Housewives,The Real World and the mother ship: Keeping Up with the Kardashians. There are lots of staged conversations and conflicts. Popal and Shalom have a dramatic relationship that has already resulted in tears and bathroom meltdowns. Taylor Cuqua, a DASH sales associate, is a party girl who drives her roommates crazy by always bringing the festivities back to the house. She has a showdown with her roommates, which obviously involves a lot of screaming and profanity. 

The product placement is beyond awkward. At one point, three of the women are sitting around discussing the virtues of Oreo cookies. "We have some Oreo ice cream sandwiches that are bomb," one of them says. In another scene, McCray's young son is seen playing Kim Kardashian's Hollywood! video game. Because what pre-schooler doesn't want to play that?

The Kardashian sisters themselves are rarely seen. They appear at the top of the premiere to talk about how great the DASH stores are doing, and Khloe briefly stops by the store and advises McCray about the virtues of posing nude. There are other DASH stores in Miami and New York, so DASH Dolls is poised for at least two spinoffs. It's a Kardashian TV world. But we don't have to watch it.