The Great American Dream Vote



8 p.m. Wednesday, March 28

That's the great thing about ABC. On Sunday, you can watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and see a needy family that has survived life-challenging hardships get the home of their dreams. Then, on Thursday, you can watch "The Great American Dream Vote" and maybe see a guy win a head of hair.

"Dream Vote," the latest from TV schlockmeister Mike Fleiss, has host Donny Osmond introduce eight people in each episode, all of who want something that, for the most part, no one else could possibly care about.

On Wednesday's "preview" show, a Jacksonville, Fla., mom wanted help so her daughter could compete for Miss America, a Rome, Ga., man wanted to start a chicken-themed amusement park and a San Diego man wanted a great singer to warble one of his love songs to his wife. And then there was Russ from Fort Worth, Texas, who wanted the hair transplant. Incredibly, he was one of the two finalists.

Osmond navigates each contestant through a home video, a brief interview and then a 15-second speech on a set that takes pretentiousness to a whole new level. The audience selects one from each pair of dreamers, then reduces the number to two at show's end. Then it's up to viewers to decide whether Russ gets his hair or Devon of Acton, Calif., gets a retirement home for basset hounds.

This paean to self-gratification has the obvious advantage of being cheap to produce. And maybe, between those who relate to the myopic candidates and those who laugh at them, there's an audience. My dream, however, is that network execs get too embarrassed to put shows like this on the air.