'Swearnet': Film Review

Christos Kalohoridis for DaDa Pictures
This is a Canadian film even Rob Ford would be embarrassed to watch

The stars of the "Trailer Park Boys" play themselves in this meta-comedy

A mere week after inflicting the ungodly awfulness of Trailer Park Boys: Don’t Legalize It on our shores, the Canadian cutups have the effrontery to do it again with their meta-themed, purported comedy in which Mike Smith, Robb Wells and John Paul Tremblay play versions of themselves rather than their beloved (in Canada, at least) characters. Even more egregious than its recent predecessor, Swearnet mainly distinguishes itself for its plethora of F-bombs, which the publicity materials proudly number 935…and this from a country known for its politeness.

One online comment to my review of the previous film explained that 90 percent of the Trailer Park Boys’ fans are stoners and anyone who isn’t one simply won’t enjoy the humor. Sidestepping the issue of whether or not I’ve actually inhaled, let’s just say that it would take some seriously primo pot to make this effort anything other than a painful ordeal.

The barely there plot involves the trio becoming so disgusted with the repressive censorship of the Canadian National Television network — cue the obligatory jokes regarding its initials — that they decide to quit their show and start their own subscription Internet channel in which they’ll be able to curse, and do every subversive thing else, to their hearts’ delight.

Along the way they get into a series of typically outrageous situations involving a shady loan shark and his diminutive sidekick, Wells’ ball-buster girlfriend, a car race in Halifax, an accidental acid trip, a one-eyed man who gets a hand-job from one of the team, and the frequent appearances of the Swearnet mascot (Pat Roach, who plays Randy on the series), whose drunken antics include providing the camera with an up-close and personal shot of his less than impressive penis.

Relying on the mistaken impression that cursing is inherently funny — quoting even a single line of dialogue would be virtually impossible in this forum — the film lazily directed by Warren P. Sonoda barely manages to squeeze a single laugh into its interminable 112-minute running time.

To proclaim that Tom Green is the funniest thing in the movie is saying something, but the droll actor/comedian is more than convincing when he negatively compares the lackadaisical proceedings to his own directorial effort, Freddy Got Fingered. There also are cameos by the likes of Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson and rocker Sebastian Bach, with the latter given the opportunity to warble the Canadian national anthem.

Admittedly, the post-credits capper, in which the actors directly confront their Trailer Park Boys personas, is mildly amusing. “Holy f—, those guys are stupid,” each group says about the other. Truer words were never spoken.

Production: Swearnet

Cast: Mike Smith, Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay, Pat Roach, Tom Green, Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson

Director: Warren P. Sonoda

Screenwriters/executive producers: Mike Smith, Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay

Producers: Gary Howsam, Bill Marks

Director of photography: Bobby Shore

Editor: Christopher Cooper

Costume designer: Melissa Stewart

Composer: Blain Morris

No rating, 112 minutes