Seth Meyers and Anderson Cooper Mock — and Admire — Donald Trump

Last night on Late Night, Seth Meyers pointed out that while Donald Trump‘s voice is everywhere on news programs, he rarely shows up in person.

“Is there anyone who calls into more shows than Donald Trump?” Meyers mused. “It’s never in person, he’s always on the phone.” 

“And since he’s always on the phone,” Meyers pointed out. “We always have to look at these weird stills,” he said as images of Trump smiling popped up onscreen. “But that’s not what he looks like. What is he doing while he’s on these calls?”

Meyers did a little speculating: “Is he standing in front of a wall of TVs waiting for someone to mention his name? Is he putting golf balls into one of those Sharper Image things? Is he lying face down on a massage table while two women hit him with bamboo sticks?

We want to know what Donald Trump is doing when he’s on the phone. Does anyone know?”

A few “guests” in the audience then did some imagining of their own.

One guy was pretty sure that when Trump calls into news shows, he’s “standing on top of the Trump Tower looking at the city he’s built. He’s holding the phone to his ear and he’s just whizzing like crazy on all the garbage people walking on the streets below. And he’s laughing. Oh, yes. He’s laughing like a madman.”

But of course, sometimes Trump does step down from the tower to show up for interviews.

Later on the show, guest Anderson Cooper talked about interviewing the GOP frontrunner — in person — and also pointed out that Meyers was on Trump’s enemy list.

“I am. He’s never forgiven me for the Washington Correspondents dinner,” Meyers noted.

“But then later when you got this show, I think he was the first person to tweet you congratulations,” Cooper remarked. “Do you remember what he tweeted?” Then, doing his best Trump impression: ” ‘Seth Meyers is a loser!’ “

“He did,” Meyers laughed, then did his own Trump impression: ” ‘He garbles his words. How’d he get a show?’ The thing he always says about me is that I have marbles in my mouth, which is so great because it’s something a 1950s bully would say.”

But impressions aside, the CNN anchor also revealed his admiration for Trump. “I like talking to Donald Trump,” said Cooper. “It’s rare that you talk to a politician who doesn’t show up with a huge entourage, which ironically Trump does not. He just kind of shows up — into the lobby of his own building, ironically.” (Cooper was amused that the two times he’s interviewed Trump this election season, it’s been at the Trump Bar in Trump Tower.)

Cooper and Meyers were also impressed with Trump’s absolute dominance and mastery of Twitter — and also his stamina — remarking on his early-morning Tweets following the Republican debate last Thursday. 

Meyers imagined Trump waking up in the middle of the night: “You know, like, when you’re asleep and you wake up and have a great idea? All his ideas are, ‘Someone’s a loser!’ ”

“I just keep imagining his wife being like, ‘Honey, get off the Tweeetter,’ ” Cooper said, in his best Slovenian accent, imitating Trump’s wife, Melania.

Cooper also expressed appreciation for Trump’s uncanny knowledge of every comment ever made about him — in real time. “Oh, he watches everything,” said Cooper. “He’s probably watching right now. He’s probably Tweeting, ‘That Seth Meyers — confirmed it. He’s a loser!’ “

“He’s definitely taken the edge off loser,” Meyers laughed. “Because when you look at the list of who he’s called a loser, it’s great company.”

Watch Meyers’ interview with Cooper in the two clips below.