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Gabrielle Union is opening up about her journey of going through in vitro fertilization after multiple miscarriages.
On Wednesday’s episode of The Daily Show, Union spoke to host Trevor Noah about writing her new essay collection You Got Anything Stronger? and its “brutal chapters.” The actress and author said she wrote the book after seeing the world “suffering in silos” during the pandemic. She explained she wanted to tell her story, “because through radical transparency, you breed community.”
“With this book and those tougher chapters, which [are] some of the most brutal chapters of my life, actually, I felt a responsibility to share,” she told Noah.
After the late-night host noted that some of the chapters detail the journey of IVF and the pain of experiencing multiple miscarriages, Union admitted she felt “liberated” sharing her story: “When you have complicated, messy, not sound bite-worthy feelings about something as big as entering into motherhood and the journey to motherhood…I felt like a loser.”
She continued to share how the experience impacted her and her marriage to Dwyane Wade: “I felt like a failure. I felt like my body had failed me. I had failed me and I had failed Dwyane [Wade], and he deserved something other than me. When you don’t physically birth your child and you have those nine months to bond with your baby, it’s like me and Dwyane are in the same boat with Kaav.” Union and her husband Wade welcomed their daughter Kaavia James via a surrogate in 2018.
Union said the couple “had to work to create a bond because she was created outside of both of us.” She added that she also had concerns about how her daughter would view her. “I was so worried that maybe she’s not gonna love me as much because I didn’t birth her. Maybe she’s not gonna respect me as much because I didn’t birth her. Maybe he’s not ever going to be able to love me fully, completely, because I wasn’t able to do this and I’ll never know.” She called the thoughts “brutal” and “heartbreaking.”
She admitted to feeling “defective” seeing other stories about IVF treatment. “When I’m reading in People magazine about someone who’s had a baby via gestational carrier, like we did, it was basically like, ‘I couldn’t. Found an angel on earth, and now our angel is on earth.’ And there’s nothing in between.”
Writing You Got Anything Stronger? allowed her to “release” her pain. “With this, I know I’m not alone,” Union said.
Watch the interview below.
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