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In the second episode of Jersey Shore season five, the roommates are faced with their first real struggle since returning to Seaside Heights as Vinny makes his exit.
Early in the episode, Vinny reveals a battle with clinical anxiety to Shore Store boss Danny — and viewers — while attempting fulfill his duties at work. Ultimately he decides to quit drinking, while still attempting to distract himself from his own thoughts.
One of said distractions involves something called “Guy Day,” which apparently consists of group manis and pedis among the male roommates. Hey, to each his own.
The crew hits their old stomping grounds, Karma, with a vengeance and smushing ensues. Unfortunately for Pauly D, his DTF babe manages to walk off with his favorite chain — in her panties. Call it karma for rushing her out of the house with no shoes. Luckily for Pauly, the girl uses the diamond encrusted necklace as leverage to return to the house later the next day.
Ronnie accompanies Vinny to the boardwalk in an effort to distract him with games and oversized stuffed animals, but to no avail. Vinny ultimately waits for his roommates to hit the clubs before slipping away quietly.
Vinny fans needn’t worry, though. Previews for next episode tease more from his story, with a brief snippet of an exchange with his mother. Will she convince him to return? We’ll have to wait and see.
The Snooki/Mike/Jionni love triangle continues, but most of the drama seems to have tapered out for now. We’re sure this isn’t the last we’ll be seeing of their storyline, but creator SallyAnn Salsano appears to be saving that for another day.
JWoww, Deena, Sammi and Ronnie continue to play quietly in the background, not offering much beyond a passing comment here and there. Surely there will be more to come from each of them, though previews haven’t hinted at any explosive breakups, hookups — or otherwise — in the future.
The episode’s tone was somber overall, but of course there were a few zingers and one liners to keep the upbeat fan satisfied. Find the 10 best quotes of the episode below.
1. Mike: “I’m like, yeah, I mean we share girls, why can’t we share underwear?”
2. Mike “I am the master of deception and I can act like anybody’s best friend. All it is, is you gotta know how to play chess. If you don’t know how to play chess, maybe drop down and try checkers.”
3. Pauly D: “I burnt my face off. It peeled, and then I exfoliated and then burnt the part that I peeled. Pauly D Problems.”
4. Snooki: “I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would ever tell anyone in this house to stop tanning. That’s when you know the world is coming to an end.”
5. JWoww: “You look really good.”
Snooki: “Would you bang me?”
JWoww: “Bent over and sideways.”
6. Deena: “I can’t do sex.”
Snooki: “Have a– sex.”
Deena: “I’m not gonna try a– sex until I have a boyfriend.”
7. Snooki: “I feel like the girl just took Pauly’s chain so the next day she could come back and see Pauly again and probably try and smash. I would do that.”
8. Pauly: “So I’m now coming up with a new plan: Whenever a girl leaves the house, I’m going to hug her and then pat her down at the same exact time.”
9. Pauly: “I’m not drinking for the rest of my life. Until tonight.”
10. Vinny to Pauly: “Can we sext?”
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