John Oliver Enlists Wilmer Valderrama to Explain Crisis in Venezuela

John Oliver began Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight by addressing the previous week’s episode, which he jokingly declared was his last. “You might be thinking right now, ‘Hey, hold on. Didn’t you shut down the show last week after Russell Crowe named a Koala Chlamydia Ward after you?’ Well yes, yes I did.”

The host joked that he went to Australia to work with the koalas, but had to return to do the show. “First, HBO contracts are a little harder to get out of than I originally thought, and second, these horny little fuckers are not as cute as you’d expect,” he said of the koalas. “They are nasty. They are mean. They’re not even technically bears, and all they kept asking was whether or not I knew James Corden and I don’t. I don’t know him, but I hear terrible things.”

“Unfortunately for everybody, this show must continue,” said Oliver before jumping into some current events discussion about the Trump White House. “The only home in America where the next occupant will have to ask, ‘What’s the best way to get cum stains out of Abe Lincoln’s ghost?'” He then declared, “Yeah! We’re back!”

Oliver later focused on the economic status of Venezuela. He introduced the topic by stating, “Venezuela is the country famous for giving the world oil, seven Miss Universes, six Miss Worlds and most importantly, one Wilmer Valderrama, who I like to think of as the Miss Universe of That ‘70s Show.”

“It’s a story about epic mismanagement,” Oliver said about the current state of the country. “So epic that a nation of 31 million people with the largest oil reserves in the world have been forced to resort to some pretty creative forms of protest.” For example, one social media protest encourages people to fill bags and jars with human feces.

Oliver explained that the problem began with former President Hugo Chavez, who was popular based on his social programs funded by the oil business. Following Chavez’s death, his chosen successor Nicolas Maduro took over leadership of the country. Under Maduro’s presidency, the country has experienced severe inflation that has made it impossible for many residents to obtain food.

The host stated that the Venezuelans are starving from the “Maduro diet.” He explained that some of Maduro’s proposals for overcoming hunger include implementing a plan to breed rabbits for food and introducing a new currency. Oliver also explained that the leader has refused to accept donations ranging from medicine to food and humanitarian aid.

Despite listing many of Maduro’s flaws as a leader, Oliver said, the incumbent “is about to dominate this election.” The host explained this is possible because Maduro has bent the country’s democratic process to work for him.

“The most frustrating thing here is there aren’t a lot of great options to help. The Trump administration has imposed some sanctions and is considering more, but if they’re not extremely careful, those can end up causing even more hardships,” explained Oliver. “At this point, it seems Maduro won’t listen to reason or to the will of his own people. Perhaps it’s time to call in the one voice that we know he’ll listen to.”

Valderrama then appeared onstage dressed as a green bird. “Hola, Maduro. It’s me, a bird,” he said. “Remember we spoke a few years back? And if you’re thinking this is just Wilmer Valderrama in a bird suit, well, you used to think I was Hugo Chavez, so you’re not exactly the authority on what’s birds.”

“But listen up buddy, because I have two and a half kilos of high protein in meat and I’m here to tell you that you’re in some serious trouble, compadre. Is that a good sign when the people are throwing their poop at you?” said the actor. “I should know. I’m a bird.”

“Maduro, the whole world can see what mess you are making. Even TV hosts in America, like that idiot,” Valderrama said before pointing to Oliver eating a snack. “The point is, Maduro, you need to accept humanitarian aid and cool it with the dictator stuff or I’ve got a poo-poo-tov cocktail with your name on it right here.”

Valderrama concluded by stating, “All right. This is it for me and because I am a real, actual bird I am going to exit with effortless beauty and grace.” He then began flapping his wings and was lifted into the air.