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Oliver showed a clip in which President Trump’s former lawyer and fixer — who was sentenced to three years in prison for a series of crimes that included arranging the payment of hush money to two women that he says was done at the direction of Trump — was asked by Rep. James Comer, during his testimony about Trump last week, what he would call himself if he has previously called Trump a “cheat.”
“A fool,” Cohen declared.
Said Oliver: “The fact that Michael Cohen now has absolutely no respect for Michael Cohen is the first thing I’ve respected about Michael Cohen.”
Oliver then moved on to Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, the president’s son-in-law and daughter. Kushner has been in the news recently amid a report that President Trump last year ordered officials to grant top-secret security clearance to Kushner, his senior adviser, despite the concerns of intelligence officials, then Chief of Staff John Kelly and then White House counsel Don McGahn.
“One major issue with Jared having access to state secrets is, you know, it’s Jared — a guy who, even among Jareds, stands out as the ‘Jared’ of the group,” Oliver quipped.
Oliver noted that Kushner’s skin looked to0 “radiant” for him to be seriously tackling everything he’s got on his plate.
“This is a guy who is not just brokering peace in the Middle East, he’s tackling the opioid crisis, and national infrastructure as the head of the office of American innovation, while constantly traveling halfway around the world, and doing it all while navigating the psycho-sexual Stalliongrad that is marriage to Donald Trump’s daughter. Where are the bags under his eyes? How is his skin so smooth? It is deeply worrisome how unworried he looks. The only way you maintain that glow with that to-do list is by not really understanding anything on it.”
Oliver also showed a clip in which Ivanka Trump told ABC News that “the president had no involvement pertaining to my clearance or my husband’s clearance.”
“Oh, please,” replied Oliver. “I honestly don’t know what’s sadder there: either Ivanka is knowingly lying about her Dad forcing her and Jared’s security clearance through, or she genuinely thinks they got it on merit on their own. And if it is the latter, Ivanka, there are some things that you really should know. You only became an executive vice president of the Trump Organization at 24 because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you are a 24-year-old business prodigy. You only got a book deal because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you’re a brilliant author and wordsmith. And you only hosted the Miss Teen USA pageant because your Dad owned the contest, not for your sparkling on-camera presence. And you know how Santa Claus used to visit every Christmas morning to give you presents, well that wasn’t the real Santa, that was Michael Cohen, and trust me, he won’t be coming down your chimney anymore.”
Last Week Tonight airs Sundays on HBO.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
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