Stephen Colbert opened the Late Show talking about his pants being too tight — something he claimed was “rigged” by the media and the Clintons.
It echoed words spoken earlier tonight in Melania Trump’s interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, in which she blamed Billy Bush, the left-wing media and Hillary and Bill Clinton for the current controversies embroiling her husband, Donald Trump. Colbert’s bit also spoke to Trump’s repeated claims in recent weeks that the election is rigged.
“The election continues to be insane,” said Colbert in his monologue, listing the women who have come forward to accuse Trump of sexual allegations since the leaked Access Hollywood tape. “I heard that on Nov. 8 millions of ‘riggers’ will hide behind little curtains in booths and, with a secret ballot, collude against Donald Trump. They’re doing it for the stickers.”
Bringing out an International Conspiracy Board, Colbert broke down Trump’s sex scandal with a Venn diagram that, after two circles and a straight line, illustrated the culprit behind all of Trump’s poor decisions: his penis. Colbert said the image was behind Trump’s walking into Miss Universe dressing rooms, bragging on the bus with Billy Bush and deciding to run for president in the first place. “I can assure you, like a rearview mirror, objects on this chalkboard are smaller than they appear,” he added.
He then aired a surprise bit with President Barack Obama, where Colbert, in character as office manager Randy, helped prep Obama for future interviews, since he will soon be out of a job.
At the end of the mock interview, “Randy” said he couldn’t ask Obama to endorse a candidate on network TV, so he instead asked the president which snack he preferred: an extra-fiber nutrient bar “which has traveled to more than 100 countries,” or a shriveled tangerine (topped with a mini Trump wig) “filled with bile that I wouldn’t leave alone with the woman I love.” Obama chose the nutrient bar.
Bill O’Reilly was Colbert’s first guest, and the late-night host immediately asked the Fox News host if the election is, as Trump says, rigged.
“It’s not rigged, no,” said The O’Reilly Factor host flatly. “But it’s not a traditional election. If you look at the polling, everybody’s angry in the country, everybody’s mad.”
Colbert added “disgusted” to the list of emotions and pressed O’Reilly about Trump’s “whining” over the race being rigged. O’Reilly stood by a prior statement that there are allegedly three publications that have ordered their staff to go after Trump, and that unlike CNN and MSNBC, Fox News is fun to watch because it’s not united behind one candidate, not even Trump, he said.
Colbert also asked O’Reilly if Fox News has changed at all since the exit of former chief Roger Ailes, to which O’Reilly replied: “It’s different. It’s decentralized a little more.”
Talk then turned to Wednesday’s third presidential debate, which will be hosted by Fox News’ Chris Wallace.
“He’ll go in with questions that he wants answered, not by committee,” O’Reilly said of Wallace. He then offered his advice to both candidates, which was to focus on the voters instead of each other.
“If I’m Secretary Clinton, I ignore Donald Trump,” he said, adding that she should look into the camera to say she isn’t as bad as she has been portrayed. “I’m not a dragon lady.”
As for Trump, he said the GOP nominee could benefit from a buzzer that would shock him every time he whines and that he should outline three specific things he plans to do as president.
