“I’m telling you, if late shows were rated as the Trump children, [The Late Show] would be Ivanka,” Short said, adding that he didn’t want to say which show is the “Eric Trump.”
Short then seemed to ease his way into his ribbing Colbert, first telling him he looked like a “damn kid” because he doesn’t age, only to follow up by saying Colbert is a cross between Clark Kent and Rachel Maddow.
The star of An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life didn’t stop there.
“I feel like I’m sitting with Paul Ryan without the gym membership,” Short said to Colbert. “You look like the world’s hippest insurance adjustor.”
But the two were all laughs, and Short quickly turned his jokes to bandleader Jon Batiste.
“Paul looks different,” Short said, referring to former Late Show host David Letterman’s bandleader Paul Shaffer. Short said the same of the Ed Sullivan Theater and its new decor.
Before Short and Colbert began reflecting on their Second City days, Short got in another jab at Batiste and his sharply tailored suits. “If he ate a grape, a button would pop off and blind an audience member,” Short said.
The two also discussed Short having to perform with a cane, whether or not he would ever take a dramatic role — “When are we going to see Martin Short, Hamlet? Or Martin Short, Macbeth?” Colbert asked — and more.