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Saturday Night Live’s cold open on May 14 tackled Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s defamation trial, focusing primarily on the claims that Heard defecated on her and Depp’s bed.
The show’s first sketch began with Kate McKinnon’s MSNBC host Nicolle Wallace introducing live coverage of a segment that she said everyone can collectively watch and think “I’m glad it ain’t me.”
“Mr. Depp, earlier in this trial, you mentioned that Ms. Heard left fecal matter in your bed,” Aidy Bryant said to Kyle Mooney’s Depp. “That is correct,” he replied.
Bryant went on show a clip of Depp’s property manager Leonard Green, played by Kenan Thompson, discovering the alleged fecal matter in the bed.
“Objection, that still wouldn’t prove my client is guilty of anything,” Heidi Gardner said. “That’s true. But I’ll allow it because it does sound fun,” Cecily Strong’s judge responded. “And this trial is for fun.”
In the video, Thompson is doing a “routine check” of the apartment while talking on the phone about Depp’s severed finger, and then he smells the “boo-boo.”
Thompson then called in Ego Nwodim to show her what he found.
“Ew, hell nah, why you ain’t just go in the toilet?” she asked him. “I didn’t do this,” he responded before they theorized where the “boo-boo” may have come from — a dog, a “dehydrated adult,” the wife.
“Why would she boo-boo in her own bed,” Nwodim asked Thompson. “Well, remember, she already cut the boy finger off,” he said. “And my daddy always said, ‘If a girl will cut your finger off, she will boo-boo in your bed.'”
Selena Gomez hosted, with musical guest Post Malone.
In her opening monologue, Gomez poked fun at her friendships with Only Murders in the Building co-stars Steve Martin and Martin Short, as well as Miley Cyrus.
More importantly, however, she said one of the main reasons she wanted to host was because she’s single.
“I’ve heard that SNL is a great place to find romance,” she said. “Emma Stone met her husband here. Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost. Pete [Davidson] and — Machine Gun Kelly.”
Gomez then turned down Mooney and James Austin Johnson, who volunteered to date her, before playfully agreeing to “see how the after-party goes” with Punkie Johnson.
In a later sketch, SNL seemingly addressed the leak of Jesse Williams’ nude scenes in Broadway’s Take Me Out.
Thompson introduced a play that would feature nudity and asked audiences not to photograph or record any of the stars, who would be onstage naked, but Williams wasn’t specifically mentioned.
Martin made an appearance in a sketch about the inventor of the whoopie cushion finding his muse in Bryant’s Deena Beans, a woman who released gas every time she sat down.
“I fell in love with Deena, and she was behind every good idea I ever had,” Martin said. “Because, you see, she wasn’t just a chronic gas passer. She was also the most viciously unlucky woman I had ever met.”
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