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Saturday Night Live kicked off its latest episode with a cold open that tackled Trump’s impeachment acquittal in a Tucker Carlson Tonight-themed sketch.
Alex Moffat played the “human White Claw,” Carlson. In place of his usual monologue, he rattled off a slew of non-sequiturs such as “Is AOC hiding in your house right now?” and “Pronouns for dogs? Everybody knows they’re boys.”
Kate McKinnon played “65-year-old teacher’s pet” Sen. Lindsey Graham. “We all agree the attack on the Capitol was a horrible thing,” she declared, but “the trial is over, and now we can move past this and focus on serious issues such as locking up Hillary [Clinton] and freeing beautiful Britney Spears.”
“Good guys won again, and we couldn’t have done it without this bastard, Ted Cruz,” said McKinnon as Graham, introducing Aidy Bryant as Cruz. “Like any impartial juror, we took it upon ourselves to meet with the defense lawyers to give them advice: stop and don’t,” Bryant said, as Cruz.
Mikey Day played Trump’s attorney Bruce Castor. Beck Bennett played Mitch McConnell, who said, “Everyone knows you cannot impeach a former president.” He went on to say, “I think he’s guilty as hell, and the worst person I ever met.”
In Regina King’s monologue, she said, “I remember watching Eddie Murphy on the show when I was a little kid and thinking, ‘Wow. Some day, I’m gonna be on that stage.’ Then he left and I was like, ‘Hmm, I’m good.'” The One Night in Miami director clarified, “I’m kidding, it really is an honor to be here.”
She later said, “I’ve had a pretty wild career. If you’re Black, you probably know me from being in like, some of your favorite movies. If you’re white, you probably know me from Watchmen. Or this monologue, right now.”
In a Peloton-themed sketch, new upgrades of the exercise bike were explored, such as “gaslighting you about how far you’ve gone” and “live video of your own ass from behind.” Finally, a humiliating soundcheck “that will make you feel stupid.”
A birthday sketch saw Bryant receive a series of unusual gifts with bold statements. “I like you better when I’m effed up,” said one of them. “Hey barkeep, I want to die tonight,” said another. As Bryant kept opening the gifts and becoming concerned, she opened a gift that declared, “I drink too much” and “I’m sexually promiscuous and my house is dirty.” Toward the end of the sketch, one of the gifts stated, “I’m outdoorsy and I drink outside.”
Another sketch featured an armed man holding a hostage on a roof, with King playing a cop who ate weed-infused gummy bears. As she starts hallucinating while trying to talk the guy off the roof, Davidson appears as a “weed gummy.”
“Weekend Update” also explored Trump’s impeachment trial, which “took place at the scene of the crime,” said Colin Jost. Noting that Sen. Mitt Romney and former Vice President Mike Pence had close calls with rioters, Jost declared, “You’re a white supremacist mob and you go after these guys. The whitest guys I can think of.”
The segment also examined Ted Cruz’s hair, which Jost said “looks like he’s selling fireworks out the back of an El Camino.” He later commented that Andrew Cuomo will soon allow sporting venues to open at 10 percent capacity, “better known as Jets level,” he said.
McKinnon played Stephanie Green, a member of QAnon who was dressed like a wicked witch. “We try to get to the bottom of things,” she said. “It sounds like you’re pretty focused on the eating children part of QAnon,” said Jost.
Next week’s host will be Bridgerton star Regé-Jean Page, with musical guest Bad Bunny.
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