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In a sketch dubbed “Game of Phones,” shown during Monday night’s show, Thrones stars Sophie Turner, Lena Headey, John Bradley, Joe Dempsie, Maisie Williams, Kristian Nairn, Iwan Rheon and Liam Cunningham are featured in a mock commercial where they act as telephone operators and answer questions from fans.
“With so many characters, plots and locations, it can be difficult to keep track of what’s going on. For just $2.99 a minute, our certified experts will give you the answers you can trust,” the commercial advertises before the stars take on fans’ biggest inquiries.
When one caller asked “Who poisoned King Joffrey?” Thrones’ very own Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) explained, “No one did it. Turned out to be a bad clam. Remember, you have to touch the shell to make sure they’re alive before you cook them.”
Lena Headey, who plays Cersei Lannister, offered advice to a caller who expressed her confusion about what to do about a crush on her own brother: “It’s illegal and immoral to act on those feelings. On the other hand, if he’s hot, go for it!”
Meanwhile, John Bradley, also known as Samwell Tarly, took on a personal question about hygiene. After a caller explained that he feels like he has “grayscale,” Bradley asked, “Are you genitals swollen and tender? That’s chlamydia.”
Thrones’ Gendry (Joe Dempsie) and Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) poked fun at how the “face-swapping thing works” on the show, with Dempsie informing the caller that he’ll “go and get her,” only to pull off his “face mask” to unveil Williams. “Hi, it’s me. So first you start off by cutting off the face,” Williams begins to explain about the intricate process.
For his call, Kristian Nairn, who plays Hodor, refused to offer his HBOGO password until realizing that the caller had managed to guess his password correctly as “Hodor.” “Aw, fuck,” he yelled.
Iwan Rheon’s Ramsey Bolton didn’t receive a question but rather a threat: “I just want to say that I hate you. You are sick and are just awful,” the caller said. “You know I have caller ID. See you soon, Gary,” Rheon warned.
Things got personal again after a caller began asking about the moment a character had their “penis cut off.” Before being able to say anything further, Cunningham (who plays Davis Seaworth) assured the caller that his penis is “perfectly fine” and “perfect.”
The end of the mock commercial said that it is written in each of the stars’ contracts that they “must spend 20 hours a week answering the ‘Game of Phones’ hotline in perpetuity” and must “cut George R.R. Martin’s lawn.”
Despite the cost being listed as being $2.99 a month, callers can also pay “$5.99 per raven.” The only disclaimer? “No habla Dothraki.”
Watch the sketch below.
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