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Jimmy Kimmel took a few moments out of Monday night’s show to discuss the Supreme Court’s gay marriage ruling — specifically, how it “is going to totally ruin being gay” for a lot of people.
“I live in a gay neighborhood and these people, as far as I can tell, are having a lot of fun,” he explained, jokingly. “You walk your dogs around, the bars are always going, people are out to eat, people are wearing tank tops without having to be embarrassed about it, there’s music pumping out on the street, there’s dancing at like 2 a.m. on a Wednesday. You meet this guy, you meet that guy, you go to the gym, you work out, somebody says, ‘Hey, let’s hop in the shower for a minute,’ and you do, and it’s good times.
“This goes on — not just when you’re in your 20s or 30s — this goes on your whole life, and the reason why is there’s no pressure to settle down,” he continued. “You had the best possible reason for not getting married: It’s illegal. … But now that reason is gone. … Society will push you and push you, and eventually, you’ll give in. This is what happened to George Clooney!”
And after marriage, “instead of the fun parades with the drinks and the Coppertone and the half-naked dancer guys, you know what parades you’ll be going to? The ones with Snoopy in them, … with dead Snoopy eyes, looking at you as if to say, ‘What the hell did you do?'” he joked. “Remember when the word gay meant happy? It doesn’t anymore. … We will look back on this as the golden age of gay stuff and tears will be shed.”
Watch the video below.
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