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Tim Allen is making headlines after opening up about his infamous decades-old cocaine arrest and federal prison time, as well as the delight he took in former President Donald Trump riling up his critics.
“I was an F-up,” said the 67-year-old TV and film star, explaining that he started drinking in his youth, which was exacerbated after his father was killed in a car crash in Colorado.
“After my old man died, I really just played games with people and told adults what they wanted to hear and then stole their booze,” Allen told Maron. “Really, I was [Leave It to Beaver‘s]Eddie Haskell: ‘Yes, Mrs. Cleaver. No, Mrs. Cleaver.’ I knew exactly what adults wanted — make your bed, be polite, use a napkin — and then I’d go steal everything in the house.”
Allen was arrested in 1978 at the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan with more than a pound of cocaine in his luggage. He served a little more than two years behind bars. He was 23. His mugshot has followed Allen through his entire career. But now the comedian is going on 23 years sober.
“I just shut up and did what I was told,” the Last Man Standing star said of his time in prison. “It was the first time ever I did what I was told and played the game. I learned literally how to live day by day. And I learned how to shut up. You definitely want to learn how to shut up.”
The self-described “fiscal conservative” comic-actor also touched on his politics, which occasionally take fans by surprise (Twitter was trending Wednesday with shock) as some people assume he is a Hollywood liberal.
“I literally don’t preach anything,” said Allen. “What I’ve done is just not joined into, as I call it, the ‘we culture.’ I’m not telling anybody else how to live. I don’t like that, ‘We should do this’ or, ‘We should do that.’”
Allen added, “Once I realized that the last president pissed people off, I kind of liked that. So it was fun to just not say anything. Didn’t join in the lynching crowd.”
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