Let’s get this out of the way. You’ll see a Top 10 list from me when there are precisely 10 great shows. I want to include as many shows as deserve the accolades — in this case, I was able to round down to 10 (comedies and dramas). Although when it comes to the worst shows, I could have kept going to 150.
1. Neighbors (ABC): The mere fact that Neighbors got on the air is bad enough. That it wasn’t abhorred by the masses is even worse. It managed numbers good enough for ABC to keep it on the air and keep the Gods of Culture weeping.
2. Guys With Kids (NBC): Jimmy Fallon pitched NBC a skit. They bought it. Then realized it was essentially a one-joke skit. Wah-wah-wah.
3. Emily Owens, M.D. (The CW): So bad even The CW canceled it. An embarrassment for all women.
4. Malibu Country (ABC): Country folk move to Malibu. Hilarity was supposed to ensue. It did not. The good news is it looks, from the production, like ABC is spending about $63 an episode on it.
5. Made in Jersey (CBS): Take cookie cutter, press into poorly conceived series, overbake in oven. Cancel.
6. 2 Broke Girls (CBS): Vagina, vagina, racist joke, vagina, vagina, hipster, penis.
7. Partners (CBS): The people who created Will & Grace convince CBS that their own life is funny, too. It’s not.
8. Whitney (NBC): NBC decided it had too many smart cult shows, so it made this.
9. Scandal (ABC): There’s one word for this: Ridonkulous.
10. Glee (Fox): Come on, you’re not still watching this are you?
11. The Mob Doctor (Fox): See, she’s a doctor. For the mob. Except that assignment was canceled.
12. American Horror Story (FX): Watch me drop this kitchen sink into your convolutedly insane nightmares. Boo!
13. 666 Park Avenue (ABC): Hell, at least AHS is scary. This was the least scary devil series in history.
14. Animal Practice (NBC): Never work with animals. You know that. And now you’ll have a chance to put the advice back into action, since the show was canceled.
15. Beauty and the Beast (The CW): Sure, it’s spectacularly stupid, but think of the angst the beast must have because he’s a tiny scratch on his hunky face. Where’s the love? Or the pity?